I met J on a beach on Lopez Island north of Seattle, Wa. I will not give all the details that I learned about him, just the ones that hopefully will express and remind us of man's depravity.
This 20 something young man was a talented, young photographer and was one of the brightest kids I had ever met. Being a wanna be photographer who is one step above a point and shoot photographer, I had to ask him all kinds of questions regarding taking great photos. Soon the conversation came around to religion. As the evening wore on, it grew dark. Because he was so bright and was coming up with some great questions as well as objections to religion (Christianity more specifically), I offered to give him a ride to where he was staying that night because his friends had already come by and told him they were ready to leave about 30 minutes prior. On the way to where he was staying, the conversation continued to go deeper and deeper regarding Christianity... My friend soon admitted to sexual sins that most parents shudder at. As well, this same sin causes many parents to disown their children when they discover their involvement in it. However my friend did not stop with sharing this information.
I soon found out that this young man's sexual sins were far worse than the previous admitted sin and as a result, he was suicidal. I will stop and just say that I am not able to write about it at this time. I only write this in order to help paint a picture of J's lostness and man's depravity.
Even after several hours of one on one Scripture study, counseling with, loving on and encouraging, this young man only wanted to reject the Truth that I had been sharing with him. Though he really and truly understood how wrong his life was, he did not want to give up the desire to be loved and cared for that he had. He thought that the only way he could be truly loved and cared for was through a human relationship. The reason I know that he truly understood why his life choices were wrong again is not able to be discussed any further in this venue other than that he had suicidal thoughts as a direct result of his newest step downward into his sexual sin. Like Judas, J was remorseful as a result of his sin. Remorseful to the point of wanting to kill himself. However J, like Judas, did not want to submit to the Lord and repent of his sins.
I left my friend that night as I watched him walk to the boat that he was staying on for the night, praying that God would reveal Himself to him; praying that He would give J a new heart that would understand the depth of his depravity, not just because his sexual sin was great, but because even his most mundane sin is great. I prayed that seeing his depravity, J would repent and turn to the Lord, trusting in the Sacrifice that was made 2000 years before.
Sadly that night my new friend had no desire to bow to his Maker. His number one desire was to be loved; just not by God.
Somedays later, after being haunted by the discussion of this night, I began to wonder if the reason for my friends sexual sins was a result of his tyrant mother who I found out during our discussion was a mother who was vile and evil. She would constantly belittle him, embarrass him and abuse him in every way other than sexually. Sometimes as a little boy, J told me that his mother would come to him out of the blue and ask him how many times she was going to hit him in the face. He said that he knew that he had to answer her because if he didnt it would get real bad. He said that he learned that if he didnt guess a high enough number, her response would be bad as well. So he said that if he guessed 7 or 8 times she would usually accept that and begin hitting him. I wondered if the reason he was so mixed up in his sexual identity was because he did not see women as people capable of not only being trusted, but loved. Maybe that is the catalyst that sent this young man down such a lonely, dark, horrendous nightmare of a life. Because I do not wish to share my friends information further, you will have to trust that his life was, and at this time, is a sad, lonely, living nightmare.
Read John Bell's article on "Gay Village" HERE
Read Bob Thune's article HERE