My Friend... A Tragic Life

My wife, kids and a family friend had just left Pikes Place Market and we had walked to the pickup so that we could leave and see more of Seattle. Little did I know that I was about to see a part of Seattle that most do not get to see up close.

I had just climbed into the driver's seat and was waiting for my wife, the kids and our friend to get into the pick up on the passenger side when Megan opened the door and stated in an urgent manner that I needed to come to the back of the truck quickly. Thinking that a cop was about to give us a parking ticket I hurried to the back of the truck. What I found was a homeless man asking for help.

Immediately my defenses went up and I became a little roused. I was having a type of mini flash back to Vancouver when another homeless man had approached Megan asking for financial assistance. When she told him that she did not have money he became increasingly agitated towards her and gave threatening hints that it would be in her best interest that she needed to donate to "his cause". Luckily I walked up and nothing transpired from that point.

I dont mind people coming to me and asking for assistance nor do I mind it when they become upset when I do not give them the assistance they ask for (I am happy to give food, help or whatever but am not willing to always give money for obvious reasons). When it comes to my wife, that is a different story. One can ask her for help, and if she is able to help, I know that she will. Becoming agitated and threatening becomes totally different and a line is crossed.

Thankfully as I approached the back of the truck I was able to contain my concern and express respect toward this man who would quickly become my friend. When I approached him, his back was to me. Our friend who was with us looked over this man's shoulder and when she did he quickly turned to see who was behind him. Upon seeing me he introduced himself and asked for help. As he did he handed me a card, a card that I was somewhat familiar with. I knew that the card was from a Evangelical organization who's aim was to minister to the homeless.

This organization provides a place to stay for the night, a shower and food for just a handful of dollars. He expressed his desire to stay there. No... it was more than a desire, it was an urgency or even a type of desperation. But it was not the same as the man in Vancouver's desperation. This man's was a desire of escape from the streets to a safe place whereas the man in Vancouver's desire was a desire to escape from reality to where ever the poison that he would buy, with the money we contributed to his "cause", would lead him.

This man I had just met had a very humble manner to him. His manner was that of a dog that had been kicked which I would soon learn as to why. But he also displayed a sense of godliness. I asked him if he knew Jesus, expecting his answer to be what most people who are begging is, "yes I know Jesus". And that is the answer that he gave me. Except this man said, "Yes I know Jesus." Chris then began to humbly quote scripture; not just John 3:16 but other passages. Lots of other passages. Passages that the average person wouldn't know.

I asked Megan and our friend to take the kids shopping at the antique store while I visited with this man who was about to become a friend. Megan graciously said OK and they headed into the store.

Chris, my new friend, climbed into the truck with me and we began to talk. God really began to give me new eyes to those in need. My understanding of people's pain began to grow. Chris shared that 3 years ago he had a happy marriage, they had a new baby and were regular church attenders.

That all changed in a wink of an eye.

Their baby girl died.

His wife couldn't handle it and committed suicide shortly after.

Chris went off the deep end.

He said that he started drinking and using drugs to escape the pain. He said that in just a short time he had lost his child, wife, job and home and found himself 2 hours away on the cold wet streets of downtown Seattle, making camp under a bridge, a bridge that a hundred thousand cars cross over everyday.

I couldn't keep the tears from welling up... even now they return.

I was able to encourage Chris by reminding him of various Scriptures; Scriptures that tell of God's love for His children and how He will take care of, and care for, those who are His and that he, being a child of God, is certainly cared for by Him. I told him of a new church plant in the Belltown area and he told me that he attended another church in the Belltown area. I encouraged him to really get involved with that church and to continue to seek the Lord and His will for his life.

During our conversation (Im not sure at what point he told me this story) Chris told me that when he had attended church with his family in Yakima that he hardly ever listened to the sermons. He said that he would fade off to other things of life. Amazed he told me that after he had been living on the streets that God continually brought Scripture to his mind. He said that he was able to recall complete passages though he had never taken the time to sit down and memorize them. He said that God's Word was what was helping him to come back to reality and get a grip on things.

I found myself digging in my pockets, in my back pack and in the cigarette tray trying to dig up all the money I had. Upon giving the money, as well as various other goodies like a stash of Power Bars to Chris, I made him promise that he would spend it wisely. He said he would.

I trusted him.

I told him that I would lovingly hold him accountable since I had obtained his email just prior to me giving him these things. Instead of being offended, he was thankful, thankful not just because I gave him money but that I would hold him accountable.

Before we departed company we were able to pray for one another. What a blessing it was to have met him. God showed me things about who He is in our encounter as well as things about myself. I look forward to the day that he and I will be able to rejoice together when we get to heaven.

No I do not understand why Chris' life has been so tragic. Nor will I pretend to do so. Knowing that God is sovereign and that He dearly loves His children, I will have to rest in the fact that though I do not see the sense in what has transpired in Chris life, that God's purposes are being played out.

I will have to trust that God know's what is best. All the time. In all circumstances.

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I heard back from Chris a week later. He wrote me saying that he had indeed spent the money wisely. He said that he was able to stay in the shelter mentioned above for several days and that he was able to buy some good socks. Socks that would keep his feet in good shape, dry and warm for the coming winter months.

Socks.

Socks to keep one's feet healthy, dry and warm.

What a horrible life Chris must live right now.

When good socks are a priority to survival...

Two months later I am still not able to get my mind around this engagement. At the same time I am still numbed with the horror that has transpired in Chris' life while joyed in being able to see God's provision for Chris through blessing him with the nourishment of His Word through the miraculous ability to recall passages that had never really been studied. Too I am humbly grateful in knowing that I have not had to live a life such as the one that Chris has led.

I think that I will stop here. Right now I cant think about it anymore.

If you have stumbled onto this page I pray that this story haunts you as it has me. I pray that Chris' story will stay burned into your memory as he has mine so that you will pray for him as well as those who live on the streets who have stories similar to his.

My Friend.... Engaging in Story-Life Inside a Story

Engaging in Story

Downloadby Jeff Vanderstelt May 6, 2010

Life Inside a Story

Everyone Has a Dominant Story

Every person you encounter, every community you enter into and every culture you engage has a dominant Story with many sub-stories. The Dominant Story is the most prominent, compelling and controlling informant for how people perceive God, others and the world. Some call this a worldview because it is the lens through which they view the world. One’s worldview shapes how they receive and process information, engage in relationships, make decisions and shape their philosophy and beliefs. You can discover a person’s dominant story by asking questions.

Complete this sentence with the first 3-5 descriptions that come to your mind “God is…”

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Write down the three words that come to your mind when you hear the word “Father”:

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How you responded reveals part of your Story…How you describe God is connected to your dominant Story…What you think of Father comes from your dominant Story…

IN GROUPS: Discuss how you believe Your Story shapes your response…

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When I read the above exercise it came at a very amazing time. It was clear that God was showing me a new way to think about people as well as myself.

I had worked for many hours on this video. It is a video about homeless women. Though I was not able to capture all the aspects of homelessness well, the intent was to show that drugs are a huge contributor to homelessness. It really gave me new insight into the plight that many, not only women but me as well, have in regards to homelessness. This video, even after making it, continued to disturb me.

Little did I know what God was preparing me for.

Since we had arrived in the Seattle area some 2 - 2 1/2 months prior, I had been dying to go downtown Seattle in order to take pictures as well as to observe the people. Interestingly the day that I had scheduled to go downtown happened to be the same day that a pastor from Mars Hill agreed to meet with me. This pastor at one time had been a homeless addict who had been saved by the grace of God. Unfortunately the meeting was canceled and I was never able to visit with him.

During my time downtown I took hundreds of photos; photos of buildings, photos of alleys; photos of people; photos of posters; photos of gum wall, you name it. If it was interesting, I took a picture of it.

Having never ridden the light rail system here in Seattle, I decided that since my feet were killing me from walking who knows how many miles, I would hop aboard and ride out to the airport and back. We had traveled no more than two stops when a rough looking lady came and sat by me. You could tell that she had lived a life that no father would ever want his daughter to live. Some of her front teeth were gone. Her hair was dry and brittle. Her skin was weathered. Her hands did not look like the hands of one who has spent the majority of their time in-doors.

Soon after sitting she pulled out a hard back, black Bible and opened to Romans chapter 8. When I noticed what book she was reading I told her that Romans was my favorite book of the Bible. She smiled and said, "ya me too". She then stated that though she loved the God's Word, there was a lot that she still did not understand. She asked me if I would help explain to her what a particular section in the Bible was saying.

I joyfully went through these verses explaining to the best of my ability what Paul was saying as he wrote this.

I do not remember exactly how but we got on the topic of how she came to Christ. She told me that a year before, she had been homeless, a drug addict and a lesbian but God had delivered her from her life style (from her sin). She was now sharing her love for Jesus with all her old friends, as well as all who would listen to her, both friends or strangers.

She shared that as a little girl, her father had molested her often and that her view of what a father was, made her want to have NOTHING to do with God the Father.

She said, "The only understanding I had of what a father was... was horrible. I did not want to even get close to God because I was afraid of Him. I was afraid that if I let Him get too close to me, He would do horrible things to me. I was afraid of Him and did not want to have anything to do with Him."

She went on to tell me how a year ago she came to know her heavenly Father and was amazed that He was nothing like the father who had molested her as a little girl! She said that her heavenly Father loved her. She said that she could not get over the love that He had for her. She was truly amazed.

Not long after meeting my friend Colleen I came across "Engaging in Story-Life Inside a Story". I saw how Colleen's story is a perfect example of this exercise. Her whole worldview was affected by how her earthly father had treated her. Her understanding of who God is had been so distorted that it caused her to run from Him.

Jeff Vanderstelt wrote in this exercise, "How you responded reveals part of your Story…How you describe God is connected to your dominant Story…What you think of Father comes from your dominant Story…" hit the nail on the head. Jeff went on to write, "His Story precedes, finishes, corrects and ultimately makes sense of all other stories. " and I was privileged to be able to hear how He had worked in her life to correct it and how He was making sense of it.

To see God's hand in this is humbling. To have been able to be a part of her God story, of having the great honor of explaining the text that she was inquiring about makes me wonder if He had sent an angel to sit by me on my way to the airport. :) The reason I say this is because of the passage that she asked me to explain to her. My time here in Seattle, the relationships I have made, the things I have learned, the materials I have "stumbled" upon, the teachers I have come across has been too perfect, too perfect to be just "coincidence". It is clear that God's providence is clearly being played out.

The two pictures in this post are of her. Unfortunately neither are very good but they did capture the time with her well. One is of her pointing to the passage in question and the other is after she had gotten off the train and as the train was passing, she was waving to say good bye not knowing for sure which car I was on.

As I type this I praise God for the work He has done in my life as my 5 year old daughter climbs on me kissing me, squeezing me and telling me that she loves me.

God is good.

My Friend: The man with no hope

I met a man a couple of months ago who had no hope. I have wracked my brain trying to remember his name but am not able to recall it. He is about 60, grey hair, beard, very intelligent, drives an old beat up Suburban from the late 70's but has an engine in it that would smoke a Vett. I know this because I saw it and talked to him about his Suburban at length.

My friend, who I met at the state park on Camano Island, was putting his fishing gear in the back when I asked him about the tires on his Suburban. You see this Suburban was not just any Suburban. This Suburban was old. I mean real old. There were more holes around the fender wells from rust than there were not. The interior was rotted and the cloth thing that is on the ceiling of the Suburban was hanging down in several spots. That is why I asked him about his tires. His tires were racing tires. The back tires were easily 4 inches wider than normal. They just looked fast. Fast like the cars you see when you go to a drag race.

My friend's eyes lit up. He immediately started telling me about his "truck". He told me how he had been fixing it up for several years now. He told me how he had to rebuild the engine 2x because he had blown something up in it (Im not a mechanic otherwise I might be able to remember what blew). He told me how he had to do something to the transmission because the transmission he had in it would not be able to keep up with the engine that was now in it.

I asked him if he had raced anyone and he just smiled and said "no". When I asked him if he was crazy he just smiled and once again said "no". So I asked him if anyone had ever come up beside him who had a fast car and if he had revved the engine trying to get them to race. He said that he hadnt but that he did have some "punk kid" fly up on his back bumper on the interstate one time and that it had "pissed" him off. He said that when the kid got up beside him as he was trying to pass, my friend said that he looked at the kid, made eye contact and punched it. All that was left was a cloud of dust. He said the kid tried to keep up with him but that he blew the doors of the "little Jap" car. Several minutes later after he had slowed down to a safer speed, the kid pulled up beside him. Laughing, my friend said that the kids eyes were as big as saucers. He said the kid never knew what hit him.

As we talked I was able to ask him some probing questions about his life. I found out that his wife, who was almost 20 years his senior, had recently passed. She was his world. She was his only friend. He was a loner. He said that he didnt know how to make friends. He was lost with out her.

Since he had retired about 5 years ago from Microsoft due to medical reasons (my friends health was not so good) he said that he only had time to think about her. He said that was why he was out fishing. He had gone and bought brand new fishing equipment so that he would make himself get out of his house so that he could stop thinking about his wife and try to leave his loneliness for a time.

I tried to express my concern for him. I asked him if he would like to meet at another time so that we could fish together. He replied "no... I dont like fishing. I think that Ill just go home. My dog needs me".

I asked him about his dog.

He told me that he loved his dog. He said with a faint grin that his dog loved it when he came home. Drifting off he added, "when my dog is gone... Ill have nothing. Ya when my dog is gone, I will too".

Knowing what he meant I still asked him what he was talking about.

With little strength he looked at the ground and said, "when my dog dies I will have no reason to go on living. When he dies I will take my life. Nothing can take away my loneliness."

I knew that I had little time to share Jesus with him so I started asking him what he understood about the Bible, who Jesus was etc...

He knew.

He knew all the right answers.

However he didnt know Jesus and he didnt want to know Him.

My friend opened his car door and climbed in.

I tried to keep the conversation going.

He didnt want to talk.

I asked him to wait just a minute while I grabbed something out of my car.

I grabbed a tract that was in the glove box.

It was my last chance to...

He kindly waited.

I handed it to him and asked him again if I could meet him at that park in the future so that we could go fishing together.

He never answered. He smiled and drove off...

Detroit Lives

A really great look at Detroit. Anyone interested in cities, suburban sprawl, culture, art and creativity needs to watch all three parts. One of the coolest things I've ever seen on these topics.

Steve McCoy

HERE